Mr. Jamalaprop
The background: There is a principal of a certain school in Jamaica who constantly misuses similar sounding words, much like Constable Dogberry, a character in the 1598 Shakespearean play Much Ado About Nothing; or, if you will, like Mrs. Malaprop, a character in Richard Brinsley Sheridan's 1775 play The Rivals. In the play Mrs. Malaprop constantly misused similar sounding words which made her utterances complete nonsense, and oftentimes comical. Thus a malapropism (also called a dogberryism) is the term given to the substitution of a word for a similar sounding word in which the resulting phrase makes no sense.
Mr. Jamalaprop
Good evening fare ladies and permanent gentlemen, welcome.
You are all so well deported, you look truly wholesome!
First, I'd like to thank you for supporting your alter master.
Your supports have prevented a skullduggery disaster.
Your depreciated donations are being put to good use
My staff and I, we understand things, for we're not abstruse.
That's why as spendthrifts we're always accused of being miserly
But we don't mind, we're the consulate leaders, actually.
Look at the moral outside, I know it looks expensive!
But rest assured; before I used a scent I was pensive.
We didn't want something that was going to look very cheap
So my colleagues and I conquered not to spend a whole heap.
Folks, we didn't abuse it all; we left something in the catty.
We had leftovers so we gave each boy a drink and a patty.
You see, we've been on cruise control with over spending
And with the savings we've also started our mending.
All of us chirped in fully to mend the roof and plug the leaks
We oiled all the door hinges and arrested all the squeaks.
We're under no allusion that we still have work to do
But we're respective of each other and that'll pull us through.
Finally, as head of this old renovated institution
I feel I've a mural obligation to no prosecution .
Thus we've made giant strides through active meditation
And my concentrated efforts to illicit corporation.
So, it's with sincere apprehension that I bid you good night
Thanks again for your supports, they help to set things right.
The next faze of our invention involves the depraved boys
And I know I can lean on you to make more than just noise.
Duhaney A. Smith
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